Looking back at this quiz I took when I was 26 it is painfully obvious that my mental state has not matured in ANYway. All these answers remain valid and when blindly given this quiz again they were eerily similar. I can look at this in two ways…developmental stagnation or a stalwart adherence to fundamental personal ideology.
I’m going with the latter since it paints me as a principled iconoclast rather than the mannish-boy I probably am.
Initial email subject line: READ IT, COPY IT AND FILL IT OUT; THEN SEND IT BACK...THE LONGEST QUIZ YOU WILL EVER READ...
Today's date: July 1
Full name: Gilosan Watanabe
Where do u live?: Dumont, NJ
Height: 5'7" AGE: 26
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: I leave them scattered throughout the world.
Favorite T.V. shows: breast implant surgery
Favorite movie: same
Hobbies: Doing nothing..how 'bout you..huh..you got some good ones...huh?
I hate: The smell.
Dream occupation: Fly-dupa-supa-fly
What do u c yourself doing in 10 years from now?: breast surgery
Nick name: rat/silly monkeyface/monkeypaw...recently: tank ass, supa fat ass, fat thing, fattie and luscious jackson
If your arm got cut off what would your immediate reaction be?: To try again.
Would u go up 2 any random person and kiss them?: Fuck no...are you mental...thats so sick and unsanitary...plus I'm never that impulsive and I'm real shy...and I would be sooo embarrassed especially if it didn't like me back...but no...thats sooo not me...gross...I mean....you know...ewww.....................................yes.
Would you date someone of a different race than you?: Only if they were really hot...hot...or a fantastically deformed
Would u ever sell your body 2 science?: You mean again?
How many fingers do u have?: 9 5/8
Do u shave?: Where?
Do u wear a watch?: No.
Do u take showers or baths? Hose downs.
Pepsi or coke?: Gimlet.
Do u have a split personality?: Yes I mean,no...wait...we...think....no.
R u afraid of death?: Are you?
How many kids do u want?: Yes...I need to have a large cult following surrounding me at all times. So like 30? That chick better have an Ironclad uterus.
What will their names be? ron.ronella.ronvis.count ronula.run.ran.running.ronning.runt.ront(my fav).eduardo... and pip the human flea
What's under your bed?: Who told you...those aren't mine...I'm HOLDING them for someone.
What does your screen name stand 4?: Nothing asshole...where is this line of questioning going?
Birthday: When? Who's? Cake involved?
Astrological Sign: Saturn.Sega.Saturn.
Siblings: They havent been able to validate that statment.
Hair Color: Black, like my soul.
Eye Color: The deepest amber hue with tiny speckles of shiny blue which duing the day look like...ok...black...jet black...damn black...(sigh) black like my soul...there...you happy?
Have You Ever
Used tobacco?: Used how?
Drank alcohol?: Drank, no....I'm not finished.
Thought you were going to die?: Once...when I was little...oh this is a good story...once when I was little I saw this turtle and...what...oh...uh...yeah.
Ran away from home?: Sure. Who's asking though?
Broken a bone?: I'm not that kind of person.
Lied?: When? No...um...why do you ask? Wait, what? No. I mean...NOOO.
Cheated on a test?: Whenever the opportunity presents itself...only way to take those things anyway.
Played strip poker? Naw...shit...going to...someday...yeah someday...
Do You Believe In
Ghosts?: Damn yeah!
Heaven?: Hell no!
Hell?: Fuck you.
Nike or Adidas: Yo momma...you wanna start some shit...What is this a psych test?...fuck you no!
Oranges or Apples: Big banana up u ass...
One pillow or two: For what...what you wanna know...what the fuck!
Deaf or blind: You gonna be deaf and blind you keep this shit up fuckhead!
Pools or Hot Tubs: Oh...now yuo saying I'm poor...right...you know I can't afford either..
Righty or lefty: Good question.
Tall or short: Shortishly tall...for my age.
TV or radio: Go away!
Paper or plastic: Bakelite.
Gay or straight: Straight Gay Hetero-phob!
About The Opposite Sex
Honestly what do you notice first?: Vulva/uvula
Must have personality traits: Ennui.
Hair long or short?: Long, real long an....long.
What kinds of things do you find romantic?: Whos your DaDDY!
Things you love the most about 'em?: Dirty things!
When Was The Last Time You
Took a shower?: Good question.
Watched Bambi?: Another good question.
Ate Pizza?: Really?
Cried?: Last september.
Went to a movie?: Oh yeah?
Talked on the phone?: Nice.
Played Poker?: Years.
Punched someone?: Everytime I see my brother.
What Do You Think Of
Abortion?: Never had one...never will.
Premarital sex?: See...US Constitution...Amendment 5.
Rap?: Subtle social commentary...plight of the urban plighters.
Oldies?: You mean like...20's music?
Where were you born?: That is an irrelevant question.
Favorite food: Mom's food.
Favorite cartoon: Any one with Daffy Duck in it.
Favorite candy: Steak.
Favorite actor: Earnest Borgnine.
Favorite actress: Earnest Borgnine.
Favorite perfume/cologne: RightGuard.
Favorite flower: Coconut.
Favorite restaurant: Billys Topless Tavern. It's on 23rd.
FAVORITE BOARD GAME: Monopoly.
FAVORITE MAGAZINE: Cat Fancy/Juggs
FAVORITE SMELL: Dirty things/farts/assholes/you know...things like this.
FAVORITE THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: Breathe.
FAVORITE SOUND TRACK: The Godfather.
FAVORITE BRAND OF GUM: Beef jerky.
FAVORITE KIND OF MILK: Breast.
Favorite Things To Do in summer: I love you.
Favorite things to do in Winter: I hate you.
Favorite Vacation: Trip to fridge.
Favorite Fast Food Restaurant: Jack in the box...seriously?(this was before I discovered In-n-Out.
Favorite Day: Thursday.
Favorite Month: September.
Favorite bras: Underwire support front snap clasp.
Favorite town to chill in: New Milford.
Favorite soda: Dr. Pepper.
Favorite type of music: Everything except most country...or Reba Mcentire.
Favorite salad dressing: Tossed salad salad dressing.
Favorite website: www.fuckchimp.com
Favorite sport to watch: Women's Volleyball
Favorite hangout: Billys Topless Tavern.
ONE OR THE OTHER
Black/White: Always bet on BLACK.
Smart/Stupid: Stupid...soooooooo stupid!
Baseball/Basketball: Women's Volleyball, I told you already!
Theres more but it was lost in some email corruption thingamahbobber. Plus that's prolly enough of that nonsense. Suffice to say, I really haven't changed much over the years and it is highly doubtful that this path will differ in the foreseeable future.